Always take every provocation as a test of maturity, “When a mad person picks your clothes while you are taking a bath in the river, don’t run after him “naked” or people will take you for the new mad person of the village”, I’ve heard from an Ivorian comedian few years ago.
Since then, I will always consider every person trying to hurt me or provoke me as a person testing my level of maturity. I simply let it go.
The secret of being happier and happier everyday resides in our ability to “let it go”.
Do we really need to react to every provocation and attempt to frustrate us?
RESPOND, DON’T REACT
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Every time we pay attention to any frustrating situation or people, it steals our joy and happiness.
So I’ve decided to respond instead of reacting. When someone or a situation tries to hurt me, I always respond : “How do I want to feel?”. You know my answer : ” I want to feel good. I want to be happy”. Then I ask myself : “How should I respond to feel good and be happy?” and manage to respond that way.
NEVER LET IMMATURITY MAKE YOU IMMATURE
If you don’t let it go, it will infect you. Immaturity is dangerously contagious if you react to it every time.
Why would I let people who behave like immature “teenagers” make me react like a “teenager”.
Should I repeat this? When a mad person picks your clothes while you are taking a bath in the river, don’t run after him “naked” or people will take you for the new mad person of the village.
ADMIT IMMATURITY WHEN YOU SEE IT
One of my favorite tips for never letting anybody frustrate me is to say to myself : “You know people behave based one their level of maturity. Consider that this person is behaving that way, maybe because she/he is an ignorant or she/he doesn’t know she/he is wrong. Just forgive his immaturity“.
My father, who used to be a teacher, told few years ago : “You cannot punish an ignorant because she/he doesn’t know she/he is doing wrong“. Don’t punish immature people. Understand them, forgive them and let it go.
TAKE THE “HIGH WAY” (ALWAYS)
Provocative people are powerful when it comes to distracting us from our “original objectives”.
You leave your home that morning, trying to do what you can to arrive at that meeting on time. This car driver behind you makes a dangerous and provocative movement to surpass you. Are you really going to react the same way?
You may do that if you forget the principal reason why you have left your home earlier than usually
Take the high way. Follow your pursuit. Ask yourself : “What was my pursuit before this provocation? What was I eager to do? Why not focus on it and get back to it?”. Answer accordingly and let the rest go.
Hermann H. CAKPO is coach, co-founder of The H&C Group and author of 42 books. During the past 15 years he has coached and trained leaders, Top Managers, business executives and entrepreneurs throughout Africa (Cameroun, South Africa, Nigeria, Cameroon, Cote d’Ivoire, Ghana, Benin, Mali, Burkina Faso, Gabon, Senegal, Niger, Togo, Chad, DRC…) with a real african perspective…and a pragmatic approach…
Société Générale, African Union (AU), The World Bank/IFC, ORANGE, MTN, Millicom/TIGO, Sos Kindersdorf International, The World Food Program, Saham Insurance, Etisalat, Total, Diamond Bank, NSIA, Activa, Total, CFAO, ORYX ENERGIES, PUMA ENERGIES, Bayer Crops Science, Bank of Africa, AttijariWarfa Bank, Ecobank, BNP PARIBAS, Menzies are among the clients of The H&C Group